Not what I expected.

This post is not going to turn out how I expected.

I walked outside to go take a picture of the garden. I've always hated gardening. From the times when I was little and my dad would tell us to "Go outside and hoe 2 rows before dinner.", to planting my own flowers on the front porch. Anyway, this is where the blog was going to go... but it will have to wait. When I walked outside, Tbone was standing by the fence looking friendly, so I went over to have a chat.

He's such a friendly little bull. He loves it when I pick grass from the field by the garden and bring it too him. He also loves getting his picture taken, obviously. I was headed to the garden anyway, so I figured I'd snap a couple photos and bring him some grass.

I didn't take a picture of the grass (although you can see a nice patch right in front), but next to the onions off to the right, there's a gorgeous patch of grass about a foot long. I figure pulling it and feeding it to the cows serves many purposes. First, it removes the grass from right beside the garden, discouraging it from reseeding right into the garden. Next, it fattens up those future yummy steaks. Also, it helps reseed the cow pasture when they eat the seed heads and then fertilize the field. I proceeded to pick a great big handful to take to Tbone. As I walked back to the cow pasture, I saw that he had gone to join the other cows on the other side of the pasture. I walked up to the fence to dump the grass and...

Here comes Chuck. I wasn't ready for him with my camera, but he came trotting up from clear on the other side of the pasture. This was shocking to me. Chuck had never come over to me at the fence before. Even when I did bring food. I wasn't quite sure if he was charging me or coming for grass, because he was running. He slowed up as he approached and quickly began to enjoy his (Tbone's) special treat.

Then Tbone noticed...

and he came running!

Usually Tbone is the only one that will come over to the fence when I bring grass, so this sudden, unexpected event made me think that I should go get some more grass, especially when I saw that ... Porky was headed over too! This was beyond shocking. Porky actually runs away when anyone comes near. (maybe not Tom, who feeds them everyday. I don't know.) 

Tbone and Chuck were graciously enjoying their snack, but Porky was just hovering in the background. I figured he would come eat a little while I was picking some more grass in the garden. Coming back with another armful, Porky saw me and started to shy, but he really wanted that grass too.

He started to back away when I got too close. I started to walk away, still taking pictures.

Maybe we should have named him Chicken, the original white meat.

Even when I walked back to the other side of the road, he was still watching me over the top of the water tub.

 That steer has no appreciation!

Success!

My plan was to always post something different in between these memory posts, but Lauren has been nagging me. I'm not sure that Lauren was my intended audience. Hmm, how many more installments before this becomes uncomfortable? Ours was not always a smooth relationship.

The next time I saw David was all wrong. He came to a Saturday night dance with his cousin. Todd was in town on Winter break from University. Mary, my usual companion, had a date that night and so my friend Steve and I had met at the dance. Steve was a sweet guy. All the guys that Mary and I hung out with (and we only hung out with guys, our other girlfriend, Teresa, had already married) were at the very least, cute. It was fun to flirt innocently with our friends, knowing that we were all looking in other directions for actual relationships. So, I’m there with Steve, and David has a built in companion. Meanwhile, I have been wallowing in jealousy for the boy I’ve never even dated, watching him and his reactions to the other girls that he has met. I was rather pathetic. The evening was disappointing. I was ready to leave. David asked if we were going out to eat as we often did. Steve, who probably fed off my dejectedness, had no desire to go. Dennis the DJ was in the process of getting married and no fun anymore (just kidding Dennis and Alisa). However, I had technically come alone. It might be a little awkward, but how could I give up the opportunity to spend more time with David? Todd was up for food, so we headed off (in separate cars) for JB’s.

Suddenly, the night was looking up! I ordered my usual Pepsi and probably some fries, so that I wouldn’t get too much crap about not eating the traditional 1am dessert. Todd and I got along well and discussed some classes that we’d had in common. David was flirty, but somewhat reserved with his cousin maintaining most of the conversation. After some conversation and with my heart in my throat, I decided I better head out. It was getting late and I had about a 20 minute drive home by myself.

To my utter amazement and making it almost impossible to swallow, David said that he would walk me out to my car. Todd busied himself at the table. We walked out to the little, old Ford farm truck that I was driving. We talked and laughed and joked together. I didn’t want to leave, but wasn’t sure what to expect. David asked if he could call me and the heart that was already stuck in my throat swelled. Unfortunately, neither one of us had a pencil, paper, or the brains to walk back inside JB’s. There was a nail lying in the back of my truck and that crazy boy picked it up and told me that he would carve his number in the bed of the truck and if I would call him the next day, he could write down my number. I think that was the 2 o’clock in the morning talking. I thought my dad would kill me if he noticed something carved into that rusty, scratched up little truck, but I really didn’t care. I got into the truck and drove around the corner. I think I was holding my breath! Once I was down the street where I knew I couldn’t be seen, I literally screamed out loud. I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t imagine life being any better, except that I would soon be talking to David on the phone.

I realize that the picture pretty much gives away the ending, but I think that part was gonna be obvious anyway.

November and December dragged by. Normally, my favorite time of the year, I waited for something, anything to happen. David didn’t ask me out, but at least he didn’t ask out my dear friend either. We talked, laughed, flirted, and danced on Thursdays and Fridays. He bowled on Saturdays.

Then a devastating development. One night in December, David mentioned that he’d gone out with the daughter of a family friend. She was nice, but not really his type. So now I knew that he did date, just not me. A tiny little crack started in my heart; it felt like it was starting to freeze. At least he wasn’t interested in this other girl, but we were turning into the dreaded “friends”. Then, the bomb dropped. He told me, his friend, that his ex-girlfriend had called. She had been dating someone else, a law student, good story so far. However, this law student had started talking about marriage. She felt that it wouldn’t be fair to marry him without resolving her feelings for David. Resolving my foot! He went on to tell me that They would be spending some time together and he might not be around for a while. I had pinned my hopes on the New Year’s Eve party that we would be attending, or at least I thought we would. He wasn’t sure if he would come or not.

It turned out not. All of our friends went to the party. 1990 was destined to be a banner year! Surrounded by friends, I was devastated. I wanted to go home. What was the point of celebrating when my reason for living was not even there? He was probably out with the girl he had dated for years before we met, before his time in Alaska, a girl that he had history with and who wanted to “resolve her feelings”. I moped, I pouted, I’m sure I was a major downer. Midnight came and I reluctantly cheered along with the crowd. New Year’s kisses surrounded me and loneliness filled me. I left as quickly as possible.

On my own, I contemplated the possibilities. I was falling for this friend of mine and I didn’t want to be the shoulder he chose to cry on if his ex dumped him. I didn’t want to watch him get over her and move on to someone else. I definitely still wanted him for myself, and I had not quite given up hope, despite Saturday bowling, set-ups, and ex-girlfriends, I felt an attraction between us that I didn’t think I had imagined.