Sunday, September 30, 2007


So, I went to the R.S. broadcast yesterday with Mom, Meg, and Nat. I had forgotten to take a skirt to scrapbooking day and had pretty much decided not to go. I was going to be a bad influence on Meg and steal her to go get food at Elmer's. Nat had brought her skirt and told her mom and sisters that she would meet them there. Well Mom had different plans. She started pulling things out of her closet that I could wear and I figured that I better go along or risk the wrath of the guilt-trip queen. The conference was really good and of course, had all the things I needed to hear (other than the girls in front of us having a massage party). What really struck me though was the dinner afterwards (popped in my head while reading Darilyn's blog). I love seeing all of the old Chandler people and being somewhere where tons of people know me as well. So many people were offering us seats or coming up to say hello. It was so fun to see huge chunks of the Lambson family, including Stacy and Paul's 17 YEAR OLD SON. Claire Kaufman, Sis Porter, sitting with Nat's fam, Diane Lamb, who I saw but didn't make it over to before she left, and many others. I really miss that. I had just about gotten to a place like that in David's stake (of course, I had to adjust to the fact that when most people asked about my parent's, they really meant Thad and Lily, who of course are not my actual parents, because that would be weird.) Now we live in a place where no one knows either of us from Adam. We had to fill out info sheets about ourselves which was weird. It asked for interests and jobs and stuff that I wrote down, but it also asked for past callings. I'm thinking, "16 years of callings. Do they want to know that I taught Merry Miss 10 or so years ago when it was still Merry Miss or that those same girls were my Laurels when I was young women's president. Do they care that I've taught sunbeams and Relief Society and was it more important to be Enrichment counselor or Enrichment leader, because one was definitely a lot more work. Does it matter that I hated writing the ward newsletter (who'd of thunk?) or that when I left my last ward, I was really glad to get released as Primary secretary. And, now I probably won't be "the girl who was brave enough to marry David Fullmer", but who will be the Monique that these people know. It goes back to that conversation about letting other people see who we really are. I don't know, is it ok or necessary to be multiple people depending on your audience? Now, its 20 minutes to church and I haven't showered, gotta go.


Emily said...

And yet, there is something so, well, wonderful about being whomever you choose to be.

Merilee said...

just because there are multiple sides to you, doesn't mean you are multiple people. And i agree with Em, just be whoever the heck you want to be.

I had the same feelings when moving up here. I was actually outgoing and fun for awhile. now I'm settled and back to my boring old self.

Tomallama said...

Yes, please go take a shower. You don't want to be know as "Monique the Stink" in your new stake.

Darilyn said...

I get this. I have similar thoughts all the time. I feel like I have so many sides to me and I say to myself, "who am i really?" And when moving into a new ward you seem to think, "what part of myself to I want to give to these new ward brothers and sisters first?" It doesn't mean they won't get to know all the different sides to you eventually but what part will they see first? I absolutely loved this post. It was like reading into a portion of my brain. Thanks.